Perhaps this uneasiness and uncertainty I’m overwhelmed with, will ease off as I get older. Being exposed by such situations suddenly result in such emotional turbulence. It is something that I have to get accustomed with and not just accustomed, but also able to deal with it with confidence and rationality. I guess, at one point of time, you would have to step out and deal with the unexpected twist yourself and at that instance, growth takes place. It’s gratifying that you have grown, but also a little saddening that you are moving away from the simple person you once were. Maybe that is the reason why people love reminiscence about the good o’ days from their memory lane; they miss how wonderfully simple and blessed they were in the past – satisfied and feeling blessed for the every little things in life.
At this point of time – although you know it would be hard, you have hopes and aspirations to be a better person and have a bright future that you envision. You would not consider so much and more likely to act on impulses, because YOLO right? You would not talk in ways that make you look like a wily fox and your edges poke people when you don’t like them.
But as you continue your life journey and say, in your 30s or 40s, you learn to think more, and sometimes overthink to the extent you are stuck in the same spot that you expected yourself to because of too many self-imposed restrictions, to talk in ways that wouldn’t rub off people, and lose that initial fearless attitude in life. Too many things in life slowly round those edges you once have that distinguish you as a young adult, albeit many of them are simple things – they are simple, yet the consistency of them just weighs you down as time pass by and sap the energy out of you.
This is something very true in life, but I hope that we would keep that strength and hope we have (or once have) through our course of our lives. Nothing is ever too late.